You are here: Guys &Grooms > Wedding Planning for Grooms

guys & grooms

The Bachelor Party

Whether you’re the best man looking for ideas or the groom wondering what to expect, here are some bachelor party tips

Here’s the one part of the planning process that is actually fun! And the best news for the groom is that you don’t have to plan a thing – you’re best man does. After giving him the nod, offer up some guidelines for what you want from your party. Now, remember that “guidelines” do not consist of telling him exactly what you want down to the type of beer and color hair of the strippers. This is supposed to be his tribute to you, so let him surprise you a bit. But giving him something to go on is key, whether you’re looking for the traditional night out, something more low key, or something in between.

The Bachelor Party Bible

Whether you’re a best man grasping for ideas or the groom, here are some tips on what and what not to do:

Don’t plan the party for the night before the wedding, or even the same weekend for that matter. Yeah, it will make travel for friends from afar difficult, but tell us how getting a crew of riled-up guys together less than 24 hours before the wedding is a good thing? Never mind the hangovers, think about black eyes or jail time getting thrown in the mix! Trust us, we’ve seen and heard it all.
Don’t antagonize the bride, but don’t bow down to her either. This goes for both the best man and groom. Women tend to freak out more about the bachelor party than any other part of the planning process. But if they had their way, you’d be sitting around watching cartoons and eating milk and cookies. There’s no need to throw the idea of strippers in her face – in fact, the best man can truly be a pal by trying to appease the bride that her groom will be an angel and taken care of – but that does not mean you have to abide by her “rules.” This is the groom’s party and he should have final say over what the events entail. Just make sure that they’re his desires, not the best man’s.
-If you’re the best man, get buy-in from other guys to help plan and pull off the party. Having it rest on your shoulders exclusively can be stressful or too much to handle, which can result in the actual party suffering.
-Send out the invites (email is fine – after all, we’re guys here) at least six to eight weeks out. That will take into account lackeys who don’t respond as well as give enough time for those who have to fly.
Don’t forget to buy bachelor party favors as keepsakes from an epic night
-Don’t start planning a week before. The only thing this will result in is a slopped together party, which might even make the groom think no one cares enough to give him a proper send off.

Alternative Bachelor Party Ideas

More and more grooms are opting for something different than that stereotypical bachelor party in our collective conscious. No surprise there since over-the-hill strippers and a splitting headache do little for lasting memories spent with your best buds. Here are some of our favorites.

Whitewater rafting
Skydiving
Golf outings – It’s basic, but this is a nice lowest common denominator option (some guys might not like jumping out of a plane or camping, but who can’t handle golf?)
Overnight at a cabin in the woods or other remote location
Spa day – Do you really think we’re serious?
RV Road Trip – Put the party on wheels.
Sports tournament (football, 3-on-3 basketball, etc.) – There’s bound to be some injuries, but that’s the beauty of a bunch of has-been high school heroes trying to relive the glory days.

Appeasing the Bride

There’s something you’ve got to come to terms with: Brides hate bachelor parties. Given the infamous extracurriculars that can occur, who can blame them? But that doesn’t mean you have to listen to their no-stripper demands either.

If you’re not feeling the whole stripper-thing, you’re pretty much in the clear. If you are, that’s where you’re going to have to do some peacekeeping. In the weeks leading up to the party and before you leave that evening, assure her that you’ll be a good boy and that she’s the one you’re marrying, for a reason. What you don’t want to do here is to make it sound like an apology or that you did something wrong though, because you haven’t. Women have a hard time with bachelor parties because it makes them question why you want to look at other women if you really love them. So reaffirm that she is the one you love. Make it short and sweet.

Avoiding the Strippers (if you want to)

Another issue grooms can face is when strippers get thrown into the mix, not because they want them but because their friends do.

The best approach to this tough spot is to spell it out for your best man that you don’t want the traditional party. Hit him over the head with the idea so there’s no opportunity for him to misunderstand.

If you don’t do this and end up at a stripper party unwillingly, try to direct them at the guys who are the most gung-ho. Really, they’re the ones who want to see the show, so hopefully this will be like giving them a pacifier to suck on and keep them quiet. But chances are, they’re going to want to see you get the female attention for some strange hazing-type reason (as if boobs in the face is a rite of passage that all men must go through on their bachelor party). Humor them, and then send the boobs their way. Then find some compatriots who aren’t into the show as much. Hanging out with them on the side or away from the action can help you keep the hazing at bay.